Dear All, From many of the comments clearly it is time for people to put ego's aside... We are all here because we know what we have tried in the past has not resolved the problems. MADNESS IS IF WE THINK TRYING THE SAME THING IS GOING TO CREATE A NEW OUTCOME. SO WE MUST CHANGE OUR THINKING - BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE! THE EMOTIONAL PHASES OF CHANGE; 1 - DENIAL of reality : there is no common reality as our perceptions (thoughts) do not match our observations. 2 - Creates ANGER : human survival instinct is to deal with the things we have solutions for, and to put aside things we cannot deal with at this point in time - fight or flight! 3 - leads to DEPRESSION: as we cannot see a solution based upon our current thinking. 4 - leads to JUSTIFICATION: no one wants to accept blame, so we make up stories to justify to ourselves it is not our fault and we blame others . This is childish behaviour of not accepting responsibility for our lives = self pity - poor me - I AM THE VICTIM 5 - leads to ACCEPTANCE: Once we accept our thoughts and actions are part of the problem we move out of self pity and start to open our minds to all possibility which leads to solutions - I AM PART OF THE SOLUTION! 6 - FORGIVENESS OF SELF AND OTHERS: We each have unique life experiences which has brought us to where we are. By accepting it is human to go through these phases when change occurs, we can forgive ourselves for our past thoughts and actions, and accept and forgive others who are at different phases of their lives. NEITHER IS RIGHT NOR WRONG. NO ONE IS BETTER OR WORSE THAN ANOTHER. WE ARE JUST DIFFERENT. This is known as growing up, accepting responsibility for your thoughts, words and other actions. YOU NO LONGER ARE THE VICTIM! Critical thinking is about testing our beliefs. Constructive criticism is seeking a common reality! Thoughts creates fantasies - beliefs create new realities!!! Move from fear (self - ego) to love (consideration and respect of others) So please can we move from arrogant comments such as " Appreciate your the post but I'd rather get info from someone I know thank you " to critical thinking and constructive criticism, by; 1 - ADMISSION: adding constructive comments which either further support or help clarify the arguments expressed, or 2 - DENIAL: supported by counter argument, or 3 - ASKING FOR FURTHER SUPPORTING EVIDENCE. THIS IS HOW THE TRUTH IS FOUND BOTH IN SCIENCE AND IN THE COURTS!!! In UK we have a good system (not perfect and similar in most countries - find how to do it where you live) which structures dispute resolution methodology; Read Civil Procedure Rules 15.8 ( https://www.justice.gov.uk/courts/procedure-rules/civil/rules/part15 ) So constructive comments would be if people find out the procedures where they live and post links to the source documents so others can question their beliefs and we can reach a common opinion. STRENGTH IN UNITY - DIVIDED WE FALL!!!